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In a stunning revelation that has left political pundits and scientists alike scratching their heads, a hitherto overlooked clause in the Constitution has come to light, potentially granting the House of Representatives unprecedented authority over scientific research. The clause, which has been affectionately dubbed the "Science Clause" by legal scholars and humorists alike, was discovered by a rogue group of constitutional enthusiasts who call themselves "The Founding Fathers 2.0."
According to the group's press release, the Science Clause, hidden within the labyrinthine text of the Constitution's Appendix A, Section X, subsection V, grants the House of Representatives the power to "regulate and control the pursuit of scientific knowledge in all its forms, including but not limited to the discovery of new elements, the understanding of quantum mechanics, and the cloning of dinosaurs."
The revelation has sent shockwaves through the scientific community, with renowned physicists and evolutionary biologists alike expressing their concern over the potential for legislative interference in their work. "It's a scientific coup d'état!" exclaimed Dr. Jane Smith, a prominent figure in the field of evolutionary biology. "One minute we're sequencing DNA, the next we're dancing to the tune of Congressional committees!"
In response to the news, the House of Representatives has called an emergency session to discuss the implications of the Science Clause. The session, which is being held in a secret location for fear of "scientific sabotage," has seen a flurry of proposals, ranging from the banning of GMOs to the mandatory inclusion of astrology in all scientific studies.
The most controversial proposal, put forth by the esteemed Representative Cletus J. Peppercorn, suggests that every scientific experiment must be pre-approved by a bipartisan panel of representatives, with at least one member from the Agriculture and Space Exploration subcommittees. "We're looking out for the American people," Rep. Peppercorn declared. "We can't have scientists running amok with their theories and their 'facts.' We need to ensure that our values, like the sanctity of the corn-fed steak and the pursuit of a manned mission to the moon, are reflected in every aspect of scientific research."
Meanwhile, the scientific community has banded together to form a resistance, with the hashtag #ScienceAbovePolitics trending on social media platforms. Prominent scientists, including Nobel laureates and field-defining researchers, have taken to Twitter to voice their opposition to the House's overreach.
As the nation holds its breath, waiting to see how this constitutional conundrum will unfold, one thing is clear: the world of science will never be the same again. Whether this is a genuine threat to the autonomy of scientific research or a brilliant satirical take on the politicization of science, one thing is certain—the House of Representatives is about to get a crash course in the scientific method, and it's going to be messy.
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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.
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