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In a shocking turn of events, the newly elected "Tech-Savvy" President, Alex Gigabyte, has proposed an ambitious bill that threatens to redefine the very fabric of American governance. The "Futuristic Oath to Uphold the Totally Updated Constitution Act" (FOTUTCA) aims to amend the Constitution, ensuring that every legislative decision is influenced by the outcomes of popular mobile games.

The bill, which has sparked outrage among constitutional scholars and gamers alike, suggests that the fate of national policies should be dictated by the virtual victories of citizens in games like "Congressional Conquest" and "Presidential Power Play." Proponents argue that this method will bring a new level of engagement and foresight to the political process, as mobile games often require players to plan ahead and anticipate the actions of opponents.

However, critics have raised concerns about the implications of such a radical change. "It's like letting a coin flip decide the fate of a nation, but instead of flipping a coin, we're flipping virtual birds in a game," said Professor Jane Logic, a political science expert at the University of Satire. "What if the game crashes? Or worse, what if 'Congressional Conquest' becomes a pay-to-win scenario?"

The controversy reached a fever pitch when it was revealed that the game developers responsible for the aforementioned titles are none other than the political campaign's largest donors, raising questions about the ethical integrity of the entire proposal.

In a fiery speech on the Capitol steps, the charismatic Senator Memecracy declared, "We must embrace this change, for it is the destiny of our great nation to lead the world into a new era of governance, where the wisdom of the masses is distilled through the addictive, fast-paced lens of mobile gaming!"

As the nation braces for what could be the most unconventional election in history, political pundits and citizens alike are left pondering the future of democracy. Will the next president be crowned by the high score of a mobile game, or will this be the move that checkmates the future of futurism in American politics? Only time, and the high scores, will tell.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.