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In a stunning turn of events, legendary comedian and satirical journalist Laughing Louie has announced an unprecedented political campaign promise that has left pundits and political enthusiasts alike scratching their heads in bewilderment. Louie, known for his biting humor and incisive commentary on the political circus, has vowed to 'free' Congress from the shackles of the impeachment stalemate by personally guaranteeing the removal of the legislative body from the Capitol and relocating them to a new, impeachmentt-proof' facility.

The proposed facility, dubbed 'The Bunker of Bipartisan Bliss,' will reportedly be equipped with luxury amenities, including a state-of-the-art theater, a gourmet dining hall, and an Olympic-sized swimming pool, complete with synchronized swimming instructors. The centerpiece of the complex, however, is the 'Impede-a-Matic'—a mythical contraption claimed by Louie to completely eliminate the possibility of impeachment proceedings, thus allowing lawmakers to focus on 'more pressing issues,' such as renaming post offices and crafting commemorative plaques.

Louie's campaign has already sparked a firestorm of controversy, with both sides of the political aisle accusing each other of colluding with the comedian to either sabotage or salvage the current impeachment process. The political satirist, however, remains unfazed, joking that his plan is a 'win-win' situation, as it would either end the impeachment 'farce' or provide lawmakers with an 'all-inclusive retreat' from the 'rigors of Washington D.C. politics.'

Critics argue that Louie's proposal is a mockery of the democratic process, while supporters hail it as a creative solution to the gridlock plaguing Congress. The comedian has promised to fund the entire operation through the sale of his hit comedy special, 'Washingtoon: A Comedy of Errors,' ensuring that taxpayers will not foot the bill for this political escapade.

As the nation watches with a mixture of amusement and apprehension, Louie's campaign continues to gather steam, with some political analysts speculating that his 'Impeachment Escape' plan could actually resonate with a public tired of the partisan bickering and eager for a new brand of political humor. Whether this is a serious bid for political change or a masterful piece of satire remains to be seen, but one thing is certain: the political landscape has never been more unpredictable, and Laughing Louie is at the forefront of this comedic revolution.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.