Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In a stunning turn of events that has left political pundits and weather forecasters alike scratching their heads, the House of Representatives has decided to take a leaf out of the ancient Greek playbook and introduce a new form of disaster response: Greek Mythology-based Evacuation Strategies (GMES).

The brainchild of freshman congressman, Aristides Ancientwise, GMES proposes that, in the event of a natural disaster, citizens should adopt the personas of various Greek gods and mythical creatures to navigate the perilous situation. For instance, those facing a raging wildfire are advised to channel the might of Hephaestus, the god of fire and craftsmanship, to harness the flames for their own salvation. Meanwhile, flood-stricken areas will be encouraged to invoke the power of Poseidon to control the seas and turn the tide of destruction.

The initiative has been met with both skepticism and enthusiasm. Critics argue that the plan is as practical as a sphinx-sized riddle, while supporters claim it's a bold step towards a future where our political games are not just about scoring points but about saving lives.

In a related development, a bill has been introduced to ensure that every new congressional session begins with a mock Olympian games, complete with laurel wreaths and a chariot race around the Capitol dome. The bill's sponsor, Senator Athena Partisan, believes this will foster team spirit and a sense of camaraderie among lawmakers, which could translate into more effective collaboration during real-world crises.

Critics of the legislation, however, fear that the focus on ancient legends may distract from the pressing need for modern infrastructure and preparedness. They argue that our political games should not replace real action but rather complement it.

As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the future of disaster response in the United States may very well depend on whether our leaders choose to heed the call of the past or embrace the challenges of the future. Only time will tell if GMES will be a godsend or a political hot potato.

In the meantime, the National Weather Service has released a new set of alerts: "Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Mythological Creatures." Forecasters advise citizens to stay tuned to their local demigod for further updates.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.