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In an unprecedented turn of events, sources close to the Oval Office have leaked a classified document revealing that the recent impeachment strategy employed by the legislative branch was, in fact, inspired by the addictive gameplay mechanics of mobile gaming titans like "Angry Birds" and "Candy Crush."

The document, which has been dubbed the "Gaming Strategy Manual," outlines a comprehensive plan to "level up" the impeachment process by adopting the same tactics that keep millions of players glued to their screens for hours on end. The manual, authored by a mysterious figure known only as "Dr. Swipe," advocates for a legislative approach that combines elements of in-app purchases, power-ups, and endless levels to ensure the impeachment process is as "sticky" and "engaging" as possible.

One of the key strategies outlined in the manual is the "Angry Birds Sling Shot" approach, which advocates for a series of high-impact, emotionally charged allegations to be released at strategic intervals, ensuring maximum public attention and engagement. The manual also suggests the use of "Candy Crush Boosters," which in the context of impeachment, are meant to be legislative amendments or resolutions that provide a temporary advantage or a new perspective to the proceedings, keeping the public and the media enthralled.

The document further reveals that the impeachment process was designed to be an "endless level," with no clear end in sight, to keep the public's interest and prevent them from "uninstalling" the political app. The strategy also includes the use of disasterr levels," where unexpected and dramatic developments are introduced to keep the narrative exciting and to prevent the public from becoming disengaged.

Political analysts are divided on the impact of this mobile gaming-inspired strategy. While some argue that it has successfully captured the public's imagination, others warn that it could lead to a decline in the seriousness of legislative processes and a potential disasterr" for the political landscape if not carefully managed.

As the impeachment saga continues to unfold, many are left wondering whether our political discourse has been transformed into a high-stakes game of strategy and engagement, where the ultimate goal is not justice or the truth, but rather the maintenance of public interest and the quest for that elusive score of 3 stars.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.