Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation both baffled and outraged, the illustrious and esteemed Government of the United States of America, in an unprecedented move, has just passed the "Historical Freedom and Science Advancement Act" (HFASA). This groundbreaking legislation, which has been hailed by some as the most significant step towards progress since the invention of the wheel, will, from now on, require every scientist in the country to wear a colonial-era tricorn hat and carry a musket while conducting research.

The bill, which was snuck into the national budget with the stealth of a ninja on a mission, has been met with a mixture of confusion and disbelief. "It's like they want us to take a step back in time," lamented Dr. Jane Smart, a leading neuroscientist who is now required to don a powdered wig and three-cornered hat while decoding the mysteries of the human brain. "I mean, I get the historical touch, but do I have to reenact the Boston Tea Party every time I calibrate my equipment?"

The rationale behind this legislative conundrum, according to the government's press release, is to "preserve the sanctity of our nation's historical freedoms and ensure that science is always grounded in the principles that our forefathers fought for." This, of course, is a direct response to the growing concern that modern science is becoming too... well, modern.

Critics of the act argue that this is a clear infringement on the freedom of expression and the right to dress appropriately for the lab. "Imagine the chaos in a lab where everyone is more concerned about their colonial attire than their safety goggles," said Dr. Smart, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "We'll be so busy reenacting the past that we'll never get around to discovering the future."

The HFASA has also sparked a fierce debate among historians and scientists alike. Some argue that this new law will lead to a renaissance of inventions and discoveries inspired by the 18th century, while others fear it will result in a comical scene where Einstein himself would be turned away from a theoretical physics conference for not wearing a tricorn hat.

In a press conference, the bill's sponsor, Congressperson Patience Waverly, defended the act by stating, "Our history is what makes America great. By integrating historical attire into the scientific process, we are ensuring that our scientists remain humble and grounded, never forgetting the rich tapestry of our nation's past."

As the nation grapples with this new reality, one thing is clear: the future of science has never looked more... historical. Whether this will lead to a new era of innovation or a comedic rendition of "1776" in the halls of the Smithsonian remains to be seen. But one thing is certain: the next Nobel Prize might just go to the scientist who can explain why a musket is a less-than-ideal tool for measuring quantum fluctuations.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.