Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In a shocking twist that has sent shockwaves through the hallowed halls of Capitol Hill, a whistleblower has come forward with damning evidence that suggests a pervasive culture of scientific misconduct within Congress. The whistleblower, who goes by the pseudonym "Dr. Truth," has uncovered a labyrinth of manipulated data, fabricated experiments, and an array of "Frankenstein's monsters" made from hastily cobbled together legislation.

At the heart of this controversy is Senator PerfectHair (R-HAIR), whose proposed bill, the "Scientific Integrity Restoration Act," has been accused of being anything but restorative. The bill, which aims to "reinstate the integrity of our nation's scientific endeavors," has been exposed as a patchwork quilt of plagiarized peer reviews and photoshopped graph results.

The implications of this scandal are staggering. It appears that the venerable institution has been systematically undermining the very foundation of scientific progress in order to push through political agendas. The evidence, compiled over a period of several years, includes a "Hall of Shame" of scientific misdemeanors, such as a solar-powered electric car that runs on "clean coal" energy, and a diet pill that claims to lose weight by "imagining exercise."

The response from Congress has been predictably circular. House Majority Leader SoundByte (D-BITE) has called for a bipartisan committee to investigate the claims, while Minority Leader SilentVoter (R-VOTE) has dismissed the allegations as a "liberal conspiracy to discredit American innovation." In a stunning display of unity, both leaders have agreed to hold a press conference next to a cardboard cutout of the Earth, which they claim is a symbol of their commitment to environmental science.

As the nation grapples with the gravity of these allegations, citizens are left to wonder if the laws being passed are truly in the public interest, or if they are merely the latest entries in the annals of political satire. Meanwhile, Dr. Truth remains in protective custody, fearing for their life after receiving multiple death threats from disgruntled Capitol Hill staffers who are "tired of being used as guinea pigs in this grand experiment of governance."

In an exclusive interview with our undercover correspondent, Dr. Truth shared, "I couldn't sleep at night knowing that the 'research' being pushed by our elected officials was more dangerous than a late-night infomercial for snake oil. It's time for transparency and accountability in science, or should I say, in sciencee.'"

As the story continues to unfold, one thing is clear: the credibility of Congress hangs in the balance, and the world eagerly awaits the outcome of this scandal that could very well redefine the intersection of politics and science. Stay tuned to this station for more on this developing story.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.