Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In a move that has left political pundits and military experts alike scratching their heads in disbelief, the United States Supreme Court has unanimously ruled that all future declarations of war must be accompanied by a detailed, itemized receipt from the Department of Defense. The decision, which comes as a surprise to many, stems from a case brought forth by John Q. Public, a civilian with an uncanny knack for meticulous accounting.

Mr. Public, who has become an overnight sensation among the politically apathetic, filed a class-action lawsuit against the government after his local post office mistakenly warwarded his military-grade coffee subscription to an active combat zone. "I just wanted my coffee," said Public, "not to inadvertently arm the enemy with a caffeine overdose."

The Supreme Court, in an effort to prevent such confusion in the future, has mandated that the Department of Defense must provide a receipt for every war-related expenditure. This includes everything from bullets and bombs to the infamous coffee subscriptions. The Court argued that such transparency would allow citizens to track exactly how their tax dollars are being spent, and potentially prevent the funding of wars through covert coffee subscriptions.

In response, the Department of Defense has announced the creation of a new branch, the Bureau of War Accountability and Receipting (BWAR), tasked with the monumental job of itemizing every penny spent on military operations. "We're committed to fiscal responsibility," said Secretary of Defense FiscalPrudent, "and if that means we have to keep receipts for every Tom, Dick, and Harry's bullet, then so be it."

The new legislation, which has been dubbed the "Public's Receipt for Every Artillery Piece (PREAP) Act," has sparked a flurry of activity among politicians, who are now scrambling to either support or oppose the measure. Senators and Representatives alike are finding it increasingly difficult to maintain their usual posturing, as the receipt requirement cuts across party lines, affecting everyone from hawkish military advocates to dovish peace activists.

The Pentagon, meanwhile, has expressed concern over the potential for enemies to use the receipts to track and predict military movements, based on the timing and location of shipments. "It's a national security risk," warned General CoffeeBean. "Imagine if ISIS were to intercept a receipt for a shipment of night-vision goggles. They'd know exactly where to strike in the dead of night."

In a show of bipartisan unity, lawmakers have quickly drafted an amendment to the PREAP Act, which will encrypt the receipts with top-secret algorithms known only to the President and a select group of cryptographers. The amendment, aptly named the "Encrypted Receipts for National Security and Accountability (ERANSA) Act," promises to keep military operations secret while still providing the necessary fiscal transparency.

As the nation grapples with the implications of this landmark decision, one thing is clear: the face of American war legislation has been forever altered, and Americans everywhere are now keeping a closer eye on their government's receipts.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.