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In a shocking turn of events that has left the mobile gaming community both aghast and giggling simultaneously, a bipartisan group of Democrats has proposed a groundbreaking piece of legislation aimed at taxing in-app purchases within mobile games. The bill, affectionately dubbed the "Game Over Tax Act," would require mobile game developers to remit a hefty percentage of their in-game currency transactions directly to the federal government.

The proposed tax, which sources close to the matter have described as "more ambitious than a level 100 player's quest for the last unicorn," is set to target the lucrative virtual economies within games, where players can spend real money on digital items, power-ups, and virtual real estate. The act's proponents argue that this is a necessary step to address the "unfair advantage" that gaming giants have over the financially strapped taxpayer, who has thus far been deprived of the opportunity to invest in such thriving economic ecosystems.

One unnamed lawmaker, who has been playing Candy Crush since its inception, was overheard saying, "We've seen how these games can captivate millions, and it's only fair that we tap into this goldmine to fund our national priorities. After all, who needs roads and schools when we have the power to destroy countless digital bricks and collect endless candies?"

The gaming industry, which has been caught off guard by this legislative curveball, has responded with a mixture of outrage and dark humor. Industry insiders are already speculating on the potential rise of a new black market for in-game currency, while others are predicting a surge in the popularity of ad-supported games, where players can avoid the tax altogether by watching yet another commercial for a hemorrhoid cream.

In a statement, the head of the Mobile Gaming Alliance, a man who prefers to be called "Master Chief" for reasons unknown, declared, "This is a declaration of war on fun. We will not sit idly by while our virtual worlds are plundered by tax-hungry lawmakers. Expect a counter-offensive that will make the Battle of Hastings look like a game of Cops and Robbers."

As the debate rages on, political cartoonists are having a field day, with images of Washington bureaucrats dressed as Mario and Luigi, coin bags in hand, ready to levy taxes on every Power-Up Mushroom and Fire Flower purchased.

The "Game Over Tax Act" is still in its early stages, and while it has sparked a frenzy of debate and darkly humorous commentary, it remains to be seen whether this audacious proposal will become law or simply remain a footnote in the annals of political satire. Regardless of the outcome, one thing is clear: the world of mobile gaming will never be the same.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.