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In an unexpected turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the gaming community and sparked a fervent debate in the House of Representatives, the mobile gaming titan, "ThumbTapper Inc.," has found itself in the crosshairs of a bipartisan impeachment inquiry. The controversy stems from the company's controversial new feature, "CashCow Clicker," which has allegedly been exploiting loopholes in taxation laws to amass a virtual fortune from in-app purchases.

The House's special committee, which was hastily assembled over a heated game of "Virtual Chess," has called for an emergency session to address the "egregious financial evasion" perpetrated by ThumbTapper Inc. "The American taxpayer should not be footing the bill for the lavish digital lifestyles of these gaming moguls," declared Representative Pockets, a rural representative who recently admitted to spending more time on mobile games than on legislative matters.

The proposed legislation, dubbed the "In-App Integrity Act," would not only close the loopholes but also impose the first-ever tax on in-app purchases, with a rate that is currently being hotly debated. "We're talking about a fair and balanced approach," said Senator SwipeRight, whose sudden interest in fiscal responsibility has been met with skepticism by both parties. "We want to ensure that these companies are paying their fair share, while also incentivizing them to create more jobs. After all, we need more gamers to fund our national healthcare system."

As the debate rages on, ThumbTapper Inc. has released a statement, claiming that the new tax would "stifle innovation and creativity" within the gaming industry. The company's CEO, a virtual figure known only as "AppleJoker," has promised to "fight these unfounded accusations with all the might of our in-game armies and treasuries."

Meanwhile, the gaming community has been split down the middle, with hardcore gamers arguing that the tax could lead to an increase in the cost of virtual cows and magical swords, while casual gamers are more concerned about the potential impact on their daily dose of distraction during committee meetings.

As the nation watches, the fate of ThumbTapper Inc. hangs in the balance, and the future of mobile gaming taxation remains uncertain. One thing is for sure: the next time you mindlessly tap your screen to buy that shiny new virtual item, you might just be contributing to a national debate on taxation and the power of the gaming industry.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.