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In a plot twist that would make even the most seasoned political satirist blush, it has come to light that the latest mobile gaming sensation, "Pocket POTUS: The Oval Office Odyssey," may have inadvertently uncovered a Constitutional loophole that the incumbent President, known as "Executive Fizzle," is now exploiting with the gusto of a toddler discovering a fresh batch of cookies.

The game, developed by a team of Harvard Ph.D. candidates and a retired game show host, simulates the pressures and decision-making processes of the Oval Office, complete with scientifically accurate models of the solar system that players can use to predict the outcomes of their policy decisions. Yes, you read that correctly: astrology has officially made a comeback in the halls of power, all thanks to a mobile game.

In a statement that would make George Orwell do a double-take, Executive Fizzle's press secretary, a man who looks suspiciously like a wax figure of himself, announced that the President has been using the game's predictive models to "navigate the complex tapestry of American governance." The President, it seems, has taken the phrase "follow the science" to new heights (or should we say, new lows?) by using celestial bodies as his guide for policy decisions.

The revelation sent shockwaves through the political establishment, with both sides of the aisle equally aghast and intrigued. Democrats are concerned about the separation of executive powers from celestial influence, while Republicans are championing the move as a return to "traditional values" and "the wisdom of the ancients."

Meanwhile, the game's developers are basking in the unexpected fame, claiming that they "always knew that their game had the potential to change the world," though they are remaining neutral on the President's newfound astrological approach to governance.

As the nation braces itself for a series of policy decisions guided by the positions of Jupiter and Mars, political scientists are scrambling to update their textbooks. The question on everyone's lips is no longer "What does the Constitution say?" but rather "What does the Constitution say under a conjunction of Venus and Mercury?"

In a world where reality often feels like a satirical news article, it appears that "Pocket POTUS: The Oval Office Odyssey" may have taken that concept a bit too literally. And as for Executive Fizzle, he's just laughing all the way to the stars.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.