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In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation gripped with anticipation, the House of Representatives has voted to impeach President General George "Sledgehammer" Armstrong, amidst a heated debate over his controversial approach to international conflict resolution. The vote, which split the legislative body down the middle, has sparked an unprecedented constitutional crisis that has political pundits and citizens alike on the edge of their seats.

President Armstrong, known for his "take-no-prisoners" foreign policy, has been at the center of a political firestorm after declaring war on the microscopic nation of Bacteria, claiming they were "the biggest threat to global peace since sliced bread." The move, which some critics have called a "ridiculous overreaction," has seen the President deploying the entire U.S. military, including the Navy's mighty Battleship Division ONE, armed with a formidable arsenal of Nerf darts, to "crush the Bacteria once and for all."

The impeachment proceedings, which were as dramatic as a soap opera finale, saw members of the House debating the merits of impeaching a President who, in a bold display of leadership, had managed to single-handedly reduce the world's bacterial population by 50%. "It's a genocidal power grab!" exclaimed Representative Clean Slate, while his counterpart, Representative Bacterium, retorted, "Nonsense! It's a necessary preemptive strike against the tiny tyrants!"

As the nation watches with bated breath, legal scholars are already lining up to dissect the potential implications of impeaching a President in the midst of a war that, until now, only the most powerful microscopes could detect. Meanwhile, President Armstrong, undeterred by the impeachment vote, has been spotted in a military-grade hazmat suit, leading his troops into battle with a sparkle cannon, vowing to "make the world safe for hand sanitizer."

In a world where the lines between satire and reality have been hilariously blurred, only time will tell if President Armstrong's war on Bacteria will be remembered as a bold stride warards peace or the most elaborate bathroom comedy sketch ever enacted by a sitting President. Stay tuned as this story develops, with updates every five minutes, or whenever our fact-checking team verifies the existence of the events described.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.