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In a move that has sent shockwaves through the hallowed halls of Capitol Hill, President Daffydunh has unveiled a radical reimagining of the American taxation system. Dubbed "The Great Equalizer," the President's plan promises to overhaul the current system, replacing it with a new framework that will, supposedly, "benefit every citizen."

At the heart of this controversial plan is a concept so bold, yet so simple, that it borders on the absurd: a flat 100% tax rate for all citizens. "Why settle for a measly fraction of your income when you can give it all and truly feel the spirit of generosity?" asks President Daffydunh.

The President's political strategist, Dr. Emmett Brown, claims that this unprecedented approach will "usher in a new era of economic justice." Dr. Brown, who has been spotted flying around Capitol Hill in a hoverboard, insists that the current system of tax brackets is "as obsolete as the horse and Congress/p>

Congress, unsurprisingly, is in an uproar. Members from both parties, who have long enjoyed the perks of lobbyist-funded golf outings, are now scrambling to grasp the implications of a system where their own incomes would be, hypothetically, doubled. Sources close to the matter reveal that a heated debate has erupted in the hallowed bathroom stalls of Congress, where representatives are said to have engaged in a heated discussion that included the words "economic freedom" and "financial Armageddon."

Meanwhile, the President's proposal has sparked a wave of public opinion. The hashtag #TaxationIsTheft has been trending, alongside #GratitudeForGovernment, as citizens contemplate the dual virtues of fiscal responsibility and unbridled philanthropy.

In the midst of this, a mysterious figure known only as "Deep Throat III" has emerged, claiming to have insider knowledge of the President's true motives. Throat III suggests that the plan is not merely a bid for economic reform but a clever ploy to ensure that the President's upcoming line of tax-exempt personal development seminars becomes the most affordable self-help opportunity in history.

As the nation holds its breath, one thing is clear: the battle lines are drawn, the populace is polarized, and the President's latest political strategy is, as always, shrouded in mystery and a touch of madness. Stay tuned as this tale of fiscal folly unfolds.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.