Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In a stunning turn of events, our investigative team at The Onion has uncovered a web of corruption that ties the highest echelons of the Democratic Party to the illicit world of mobile gaming. The scandal, which we have affectionately dubbed "Candy Crush Capitol," has sent shockwaves through the political landscape, as it appears that key figures in the party have been using their influence to promote mobile gaming apps that are not only addictive but also serve as a front for a sophisticated tax evasion scheme.

Sources close to the investigation have revealed that the apps, which include popular titles like "Senator Swipe" and "Lobbyist Loot Drop," are designed to exploit loopholes in the tax code that allow for the conversion of virtual currency into real, tax-evading dollars. It's a masterful display of political ingenuity, where every time a user makes an in-app purchase, they are inadvertently funding a clandestine operation to funnel money through offshore accounts.

The revelation comes on the heels of a recent Senate hearing where the lead developer of "Capitol Quest," a game that simulates political maneuvering, was caught on tape bragging about the app's hidden tax evasion features. "We're not just creating a game here," said the developer, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of retribution from the "high scores" club. "We're crafting a new economic paradigm, one where the lines between virtual and real wealth blur, and taxes become a thing of the past."

The fallout from this scandal has been immediate, with calls for investigations into the gaming industry's ties to political figures. Meanwhile, citizens across the nation are being urged to delete their mobile gaming apps and to refrain from making any further in-app purchases, lest they become unwitting participants in this sordid affair.

As the story continues to unfold, one thing is clear: the intersection of politics and mobile gaming is no longer a mere curiosity but a cause for national concern. Experts are warning that if left unchecked, this could lead to a new era of political corruption, where the highest bidder isn't just the one with the most money, but the one with the most high scores.

In a statement, the Democratic National Committee assured the public that they are "taking the allegations very seriously" and that they are "shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!" as the sound of slot machine-like sounds emanated from the background.

Stay tuned as The Onion continues to follow this breaking story. Remember, folks, when it comes to mobile games, sometimes it's not just about beating your high score – it's about beating the system.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.