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In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through the political arena, documents obtained by our intrepid team of investigative journalists at The Onion reveal that the entire impeachment saga of President Cheeseburger III was masterfully orchestrated as a series of high-stakes strategy games, reminiscent of the complex board dynamics of Risk, but with the added pressure of nuclear launch codes.

The documents, which appear to be written in a blend of game theory and economic jargon, detail a sophisticated model where politicians are depicted as game pieces, political parties as rival teams, and public opinion as the ever-shifting board landscape. The goal? To manipulate the market of voter sentiment by creating a narrative that would not only impeach the president but also maximize the long-term investment returns for the politicians involved.

"The Senate was not a courtroom but a game of 4D chess," explained Dr. Econofacts, a political economist who specializes in analyzing political maneuvers as if they were stock market trades. "Each senator was playing a delicate game of risk management, trying to avoid public backlash while positioning themselves as both the hero and the villain in a narrative crafted to appeal to their constituents."

The documents also hint at a hidden layer of the game, where economic policies were subtly altered to sway public opinion. For instance, a sudden dip in the stock market was engineered to rally the base around the flag of economic fear-mongering, while simultaneously creating an opening for a counter-move by the opposition to propose a series of populist policies that would guarantee their re-election.

Moreover, the impeachment inquiry was not just a political trial but a sophisticated PR campaign, akin to a viral marketing strategy. The testimonies and evidence presented were carefully selected to create a 'brand image' of the president, which could then be targeted with negative ads designed to 'cancel' his political legacy.

In a world where politics is a game of economic warfare, the impeachment saga stands as a testament to the lengths politicians will go to in order to maintain their power. As the nation watches, the game continues, with each political move being scrutinized by a global audience ready to applaud or condemn the players based on their performance in this high-stakes political theater.

The Onion will continue to monitor this situation and provide updates as this economic-political game evolves, ensuring that our readers remain one step ahead in this complex game of political satire. Stay tuned, and remember: in the end, it's all about the clicks.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.