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In a stunning turn of events that has left political pundits and taxpayers alike reeling, the newly passed "Every Dollar Counts" Amendment has promised to overhaul the entire American taxation system. The amendment, which was unanimously approved by a senate so united it sparked a nationwide debate on the possibility of a twin telepathy bill, aims to ensure that every single dollar earned by an American citizen is accounted for and taxed at a rate lower than the average cost of a gourmet artisanal coffee.

The "Every Dollar Counts" Amendment, crafted by the illustrious Senator Caffeine and his surprisingly bipartisan committee, has proposed a revolutionary new tax model. This model involves a labyrinthine network of tax collectors, each equipped with a high-tech coffee sensor to detect the most minute financial transactions. The idea is to ensure that not a single cent slips through the tax net, thereby increasing the government's revenue to levels previously thought to be the realm of myth and fairy tales.

In a related development, the Senate has announced that the upcoming election will be the first to be held entirely in virtual reality, allowing citizens to cast their votes from the comfort of their own homes, or while lounging on a beach in the Bahamas, provided they have an internet connection and a VR headset. This move is expected to significantly boost voter turnout, as the only obstacles to voting will be the occasional virtual reality headache and the occasional shark fin sighting.

The "Every Dollar Counts" Amendment has also sparked a flurry of activity among tax evaders, who are now reportedly employing a series of elaborate schemes, including but not limited to, converting their earnings into barter goods, learning the ancient art of piggy bank fortification, and even exploring the possibility of a cryptocurrency based on the honor system.

Meanwhile, the IRS has announced the launch of a new initiative, "Operation Tax Every Hobbyist," which aims to track down and tax the earnings of America's hobbyists, from the homemade soap artisan to the competitive thumb-wrestling champion. The initiative has sparked a nationwide debate on the definition of a hobby versus a legitimate side business, with many Americans questioning whether their passion for collecting rare stamps could now be subject to federal taxation.

As the nation gears up for the Senate election, the "Every Dollar Counts" Amendment has undoubtedly shaken up the political landscape, with candidates scrambling to either endorse or denounce the new taxation model. The race is on, and the only thing more certain than change is the fact that America will never look at a latte the same way again.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.