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In a stunning and utterly unexpected turn of events, the United States House of Representatives has voted to impeach the revered Senate Majority Leader, Senator Biggletoes McWhiskerson, on charges of "excessive bipartisanship" and "undue legislative efficiency." The vote, which took place under the cover of a seemingly never-ending filibuster on the merits of bipartisan ice cream flavors, saw a rare bipartisan coalition form, with members from both sides of the aisle uniting under the belief that McWhiskerson's ability to get things done was an "existential threat to the delicate balance of gridlock that has long sustained our great nation."

The impeachment resolution, drafted by freshman Congressman Humphrey the Hammer, a staunch advocate for "traditional legislative stagnation," claims that McWhiskerson's recent push for passing bills "at a record pace" has left the Senate "completely unprepared to handle the complexities of modern-day politics." The resolution, which cites instances of McWhiskerson single-handedly drafting legislation, negotiating deals with the opposition, and even engaging in civil discourse, has sparked a fiery debate across the nation.

Supporters of the impeachment argue that McWhiskerson's actions have "eroded the time-honored tradition of partisan bickering," which they claim is "fundamental to the spirit of our founding fathers." They fear that if left unchecked, McWhiskerson's approach to governance could lead to a future where laws are actually passed in a timely manner, a scenario so dystopian it could send shockwaves through the very fabric of democracy.

In response to the impeachment, a group of McWhiskerson's colleagues have banded together, forming the Senatee Preservationists," a grassroots movement dedicated to preserving the "sacred art of political inertia." The group has launched a series of viral videos showcasing the complexities of legislative gridlock, complete with dramatic reenactments of legislators staring blankly at each other across the aisle, punctuated by solemn soliloquies about the importance of doing absolutely nothing.

As the nation braces for what is shaping up to be a historic showdown, political pundits and analysts alike are offering their takes on the situation, with some predicting a new era of political cooperation, while others warn of a potential "constitutional implosion." Meanwhile, citizens from all walks of life are tuning in to watch this high-stakes drama unfold, popping their popcorn and wondering if, perhaps, this is all an elaborate prank designed to test the limits of American political satire.

Stay tuned as this story develops, and remember, in politics, as in life, sometimes it's the absurd that becomes reality, and reality is often far more entertaining than fiction.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.