Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In an unprecedented turn of events, the Supreme Court has just ruled on the controversial "Golden Parachute Act," a piece of legislation so contentious it has been the subject of heated debates in the hallowed halls of Congress for years. The Act, designed to impeach any government official who owns a golden parachute—a luxurious retirement package—was met with uproar from both sides of the aisle, with politicians claiming it was either a breach of their constitutional rights or a necessary measure to prevent corruption.

The ruling, penned by Chief Justice Gavrilo Lupulecu, states that the Act is indeed constitutional, but with a twist that has left political analysts scratching their heads. The court decreed that any government official found to possess a golden parachute must not only be impeached but must also perform a high-flying trapeze act, without a net, in front of the Capitol building, to demonstrate their "unbreakable trust in the American people."

The nation watched in stunned silence as the first official, Senator Cheese Whiz (R-VT), known for his extravagant retirement package, took to the skies. His acrobatic display, complete with somersaults and backflips, was met with a mix of awe and horror. Whiz's performance was so riveting that it inadvertently led to the creation of a new reality TV show, "Capitol Acrobatics," where politicians are invited to perform death-defying stunts to prove their innocence.

The Senate, meanwhile, has been thrown into disarray as the rest of its members scramble to either acquire or dismantle their own golden parachutes before their turn comes up. The House of Representatives, on the other hand, has been busy drafting a new bill: the "Parachute Performance Act," which requires all lawmakers to perform a synchronized swimming routine if they wish to avoid impeachment.

In a statement, Speaker of the House Pepper Spray (D-CA) said, "We are committed to upholding the law and ensuring the integrity of our government. If that means every Congress member must dance the Nutcracker on the White House lawn, then so be it."

As the political landscape continues to twist and turn, one thing is clear: the American public will never be bored again. With the Supreme Court's ruling, the intersection of legislation and performance art has never been more... aerial.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.