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In a stunning display of visionary governance, House Democrats have unveiled an ambitious new agenda aimed at propelling America into a future so advanced, it's almost like something out of a sci-fi novel. The "Freedome-Centric Future Act," as it's been dubbed, promises to deliver a utopia where every citizen is equipped with a personal teleportation device, ensuring that no one is ever more than a quantum leap away from their favorite brunch spot or the annual company retreat in Bora Bora.

The act, which was introduced by the dynamic duo of Representatives Jane Jetson (D-CA) and Ziggy Zapp (D-TX), is a direct response to President Prognosticator's recent state of the union address, where he boldly predicted a future "so bright, you'll need shades."

In a press conference held inside a transparent, underwater dome, Jetson and Zapp outlined the key components of the Freedome-Centric Future Act. These include but are not limited to:

1. The Universal Basic Teleportation (UBT) initiative, which will provide every American with a personal teleportation portal, funded by a modest tax on intergalactic commerce.

2. The establishment of the Department of Temporal Affairs, tasked with regulating time travel and ensuring that citizens don't accidentally reverse the Big Bang or worse, double-book their time slots.

3. The Great American Grid, an interconnected network of high-speed hyperspace tunnels that will allow for instant travel across the country, effectively rendering geographical borders obsolete.

4. The implementation of the Patriotic Autonomy Program, which will grant citizens the freedom to choose their own gender, species, and even consciousness upload to a digital afterlife.

5. The Green New Hyperspace Initiative, which aims to transition the United States to a 100% renewable energy grid powered by the kinetic energy of dancing babies and the unlimited potential of cold fusion reactors.

While the proposal has been met with a mix of awe and skepticism, Representative Jetson assured the public that the Freedome-Centric Future Act is not just a pipe dream. "We're not just thinking outside the box," she said. "We're thinking outside the multiverse. This is about giving the American people the keys to the President/p>

President Prognosticator, who was reportedly seen wearing a pair of augmented reality goggles during a secret space mission, commended the Democrats for their forward-thinking approach. "The future is not something we should fear," he declared. "It's something we should sell tickets to."

As the nation braces for what many are calling the "Great Leap Forward," one thing is clear: the race for a futurist utopia is on, and the stakes have never been higher—or lower, depending on whether we accidentally trigger a subatomic singularity before lunchtime.

In related news, the Senate has announced plans to hold a bipartisan hearing to discuss the potential impact of teleportation on the nation's beloved road trip tradition. "We want to ensure that the American way of hitting the open road with your family, your cooler, and your questionable taste in music, remains intact," said Senate Majority Leader Chuckles McHumor (R-TN). "After all, what's the point of traveling to the future if you can't bring along your collection of cassette tapes?"

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.