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In a landmark decision that has sent shockwaves through the political establishment, the Supreme Court has ruled that candidates for President must now engage in an annual 12-hour live-streamed gaming marathon to win the hearts and minds of the youth demographic. The ruling, which was unanimously passed under the guise of the "Youth Engagement and Digital Fluency Act," comes after a series of legal battles initiated by an eccentric tech mogul and an army of teenagers who flooded the courts with petitions demanding political figures to "get with the times."

The act, which will be enforced in the upcoming election cycle, stipulates that all Presidential hopefuls, regardless of party affiliation, must participate in a gaming gauntlet that includes everything from the latest first-person shooters to the most popular battle royale games. The event, dubbed "The Gamer's Debate," will replace the traditional debate format, with candidates' policy positions now being articulated through in-game chat and emotes.

The Democrats, initially skeptical of the idea, have embraced the ruling as an opportunity to showcase their candidates' agility and pop culture savviness. The party's front-runner, a charismatic former game developer named Candidate Pixel, has been seen practicing with a Nintendo Switch in hand, while simultaneously delivering policy speeches to a group of Gen Zers.

On the other side of the aisle, the Republicans, traditionally known for their resistance to cultural shifts, have surprisingly taken a progressive stance, arguing that this new format allows for a more "organic" and "unscripted" display of leadership. The party's frontrunner, a seasoned politician with a penchant for military strategy games, has been holding secret sessions with high-profile gamers, reportedly to hone his twitch reflexes and improve his gaming persona, "Commander Control."

The tech community, meanwhile, has erupted with excitement, with major platforms like Twitch and YouTube Live vying for broadcasting rights to the event. Silicon Valley giants have promised to invest in holographic technology to project the candidates into high-definition, life-sized avatars, ensuring that every pixel-perfect moment of the competition is captured in stunning clarity.

As the nation gears up for the most unconventional election in history, politicos and pundits alike are left to wonder whether this new approach to political strategy will democratize the process or simply turn the election into a spectacle of digital dexterity. One thing is for certain: the future of American politics has been remapped, and the game is on.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.