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In a stunning turn of events that has left political analysts and historians scratching their heads in bewilderment, the illustrious and renowned Representative, Benjamin "Benzene" Franklin III, introduced a bill in the House of Representatives that would amend the United States Constitution to include a clause mandating that every two years, the entire country must participate in a nationwide tickling contest.

The bill, officially known as the "Enhancement of Civic Engagement and National Unity through the Promotion of Spontaneous Laughter Act," argues that the founding fathers, if they were alive today, would have certainly envisioned a more interactive and jovial form of civic duty. Citing the "inalienable right" to giggle and the "pursuit of happiness" as outlined in the Declaration of Independence, Franklin III contends that laughter is the "common thread" that can unite a deeply divided nation.

"Our forefathers fought for our freedom, sacrificed everything so that we could live in a land where the pursuit of joy is not just a right, but a responsibility," declared Franklin III, while a group of clowns juggled oversized legal documents in the background. "This bill is not just about tickling; it's about reminding America that we have more in common than not. It's about bringing families together, making friends out of strangers, and turning political adversaries into allies over the shared experience of uncontrollable laughter."

The proposed amendment has sparked a frenzy of debate across the country, with some hailing it as a revolutionary step towards a more engaged and lighter-hearted democracy, while others have condemned it as a frivolous distraction from pressing national issues.

Supporters of the bill argue that the tickling contest will not only boost the economy by creating a new industry for tickling-related paraphernalia but will also serve as a much-needed stress relief valve for the American public. Detractors, however, are up in arms, claiming that this is a clear violation of the separation of powers and a blatant attempt to undermine the seriousness of the legislative process.

"The Constitution is not a playground for political stunts," exclaimed Senator Serena "Silly String" Stern, a prominent critic of the bill. "We are facing critical challenges, from climate change to healthcare, and it's imperative that we address these issues with the gravity they deserve, not by turning Capitol Hill into a circus."

In response to the backlash, Franklin III has launched a grassroots campaign, "Tickle the Vote," which encourages citizens to support the bill through tickling marathons across the nation. Volunteers can be seen at local town halls, armed with feathers and giggle-inducing gadgets, passionately advocating for the power of laughter to heal political wounds.

As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the political landscape has never been more ticklish. Whether this will lead to a more unified and joyful nation or a legislative body too preoccupied with chuckles to pass meaningful legislation remains to be seen. But one thing is certain: the House of Representatives has never been more animated, quite literally.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.