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In a stunning expose that has sent shockwaves through the hallowed halls of the House of Representatives, it has been revealed that the seemingly innocuous world of mobile gaming is anything but harmless. Sources close to the situation have uncovered an elaborate, multimillion-dollar lobbying effort orchestrated by the major players in the mobile gaming industry, including the likes of "GameQuest" and "PocketPundits."

These gaming behemoths, whose apps have been delighting Americans of all ages with their addictive gameplay and virtual political endorsements, have been secretly wielding influence over legislative decisions affecting the future of digital politics. The revelation has left politicians on both sides of the aisle reeling, as they grapple with the realization that their every legislative move might have been preordained by high scores and in-app purchases.

According to the whistleblower, who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of being "trolled" into oblivion, the gaming companies have been using a sophisticated algorithm that predicts political outcomes based on the in-game behavior of millions of users. This algorithm, known only as "VotePwn," has been used to sway congressional votes on key legislation, including the "Virtual Political Process Preservation Act" and the "Gamer's Bill of Rights."

Insiders claim that the gaming companies have been funneling money into campaign coffers under the guise of "grassroots" movements, creating fake social media profiles to amplify their message, and even bribing members of Congress with rare digital items and rare in-game achievements.

The Democratic and Republican parties have responded to the scandal with a rare show of unity, calling for an immediate investigation into the matter. Both parties have pledged to clean up the swamp of digital politics, vowing to protect the integrity of the legislative process from the influence of virtual power players.

As the story unfolds, it remains to be seen how this scandal will reshape the political landscape and whether the gaming industry will remain a force to be reckoned with in the halls of power. One thing is certain: from now on, every swipe, click, and in-app purchase could potentially be shaping the future of the nation, one game at a time.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.