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In a shocking turn of events, the United States has officially declared war on science, with the White House announcing the launch of "Operation Patriotic Truth." The operation, which seems to be more about political grandstanding than actual science, aims to "protect America's freedom by ensuring that no scientific fact is left behind in the quest for political power."

Leading the charge is none other than President Buzz Fizzle, who, in an Oval Office press conference, declared that sciencee has become too political, and it's time we take it back. We're going to make sure that every American has the right to believe whatever they want, even if it contradicts the very laws of physics."

The new initiative, which has been met with widespread confusion and skepticism from the scientific community, includes the launch of the "Department of Alternative Facts," which will be responsible for "vetting" scientific research to ensure it aligns with the country's "moral compass" and "national interests."

Meanwhile, in a bid to quell the growing public outcry, Vice President Tinkleton has been spotted touring the country in a giant bubble, touting the benefits of "thought-based astronomy" and "feelings-driven climate change," assuring citizens that the end of scientific inquiry will usher in a new era of freedom where they can believe "anything they want."

Critics argue that this latest move by the administration is nothing more than a ploy to distract from ongoing political scandals and to solidify power by alienating those who value empirical evidence and critical thinking. However, supporters of the initiative are rallying behind the slogan, "Science is whatever we say it is!"

As the nation braces for the inevitable showdown between fact and fiction, it remains to be seen how this battle over truth will play out. But one thing is clear: the next chapter in the saga of American politics is going to be one for the history books, whether it's written with fact-checkers or red pens.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.