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In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through the political establishment, a team of rogue scientists at the Center for Advancement of Democracy and Transparency (CADT) claims to have stumbled upon irrefutable evidence of government-sanctioned election meddling. The study, led by the enigmatic Dr. Evelyn Conspiracy, has uncovered what appears to be a highly sophisticated operation aimed at manipulating election outcomes for the benefit of the ruling party, the Incumbents.

Dr. Conspiracy, a Nobel laureate in the field of Political Satire and Absurdity, revealed that her team's research began as a benign inquiry into the role of social media algorithms in shaping public opinion. However, as they delved deeper, they discovered a network of government-funded think tanks, dubbed the "Mind Control Collective," which had been covertly influencing voter behavior since the early 2000s.

The team's investigation took a bizarre turn when they traced the origins of the mind-control tech to a secret government lab, codenamed "Project Bizarro." Here, scientists, under the watchful eye of the Minister of Truth, Dr. Factcheck Falswell, were allegedly developing a mind-control serum capable of altering voters' preferences at the molecular level.

According to Dr. Conspiracy, the serum, which she has cleverly named "Election Juice," was administered through the water supply in key swing states during the 2020 elections. "We suspect that the Incumbents were using this serum to subconsciously influence the electorate's decision-making process," she stated, her voice dripping with satirical undertones.

The revelation has sparked a fierce debate across the nation, with supporters of the Incumbents dismissing the findings as a "baseless conspiracy" concocted by a group of "overzealous scientists." Meanwhile, opponents of the ruling party are demanding immediate action, including the impeachment of the Minister of Truth and a thorough investigation into the alleged mind-control operation.

In a rare televised address, the President of the United States, President Bigly, addressed the nation, claiming that the "so-called evidence" was nothing more than a "witch hunt" orchestrated by his political adversaries. "The American people are not puppets on a string," he declared, adding, "We will not be swayed by the absurd claims of these scientific charlatans."

As the story continues to unfold, one thing is clear: the world of politics has become so absurd that it's hard to tell if we're living in a reality or a satirical dystopia. Regardless, the citizens of the United States are left pondering the true nature of their democracy and the extent to which their political system has been manipulated behind the scenes. Stay tuned for further developments in this developing story.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.