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In an unprecedented turn of events, sources close to the impeached former President Sloppy Joe, who was ousted for a series of tweets that allegedly contained more typos than coherent policy ideas, have revealed that his secret plan to secure the United States' economic future hinged on a radical overhaul of the tax system, specifically targeting the post- era.

According to leaked documents obtained by our fearless investigative team, President Sloppy Joe's plan, which he dubbed "The Great American Tax Odyssey," was set to introduce a series of lunar-inspired tax reforms. The centerpiece of this policy was a proposal to tax moon dust at an astronomically low rate, incentivizing American mining companies to set up bases on the lunar surface and thereby boosting the economy through interplanetary trade.

The documents also suggest that President Sloppy Joe intended to implement a controversial new tax bracket for "non-productive citizens," which he humorously referred to as "The Hibernation Tax." This bracket, designed for those who do not contribute to the economy by working, was to be set at a staggering 1,000%, effectively discouraging any form of leisure or relaxation. Critics argue that this would lead to a nation of overworked, sleep-deprived citizens, while supporters claim it's a genius move to ensure everyone contributes to the GDP.

Furthermore, the plan included a bold initiative to tax time itself. The "Chrono-Credit Tax" was to be applied to any individual or entity that successfully negotiated with the IRS for an extension on their tax filings. The rationale behind this was that by taxing time, the government would essentially be monetizing the collective anxiety of the American public, which, as any economist will tell you, is practically infinite.

As the next presidential election looms, both candidates are scrambling to either embrace or denounce the legacy of President Sloppy Joe's tax reforms. Candidate Clean Cut, a charismatic senator from the state of Prosperity, has publicly endorsed the lunar tax plan, promising to "launch the American economy into the stratosphere" if elected. His opponent, the seasoned veteran Candidate Steel Magnolia, has vowed to "ground this fantastical fiscal flight of fancy and return to a more down-to-earth approach to taxation."

In a statement to our reporter, Candidate Clean Cut declared, "We are on the cusp of a new era of American prosperity. By harnessing the power of the cosmos and the almighty dollar, we will ensure that our children's children can afford space tourism!" Meanwhile, Candidate Steel Magnolia, with a twinkle in her eye, quipped, "Space tourism? How about we focus on fixing the potholes on Main Street first?"

As the nation prepares for what is shaping up to be the most intergalactically eccentric election in history, one thing is clear: the next president's stance on tax reforms for the post- era will undoubtedly shape the economic destiny of the United States, for better or for worse. And perhaps, on the moon's dusty surface, American miners will be laughing all the way to the bank. Or, more likely, they'll be too busy dodging meteor showers.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.