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In a move that has sent shockwaves through the hallowed halls of financial institutions and the average citizen alike, the impeached President Dr. Ozymandias Trumpus has unveiled a radical new tax proposal that he claims will usher in a "new era of fiscal utopia." The plan, dubbed "The Temporal Investment and Fiscal Equilibrium (TIFE) Act," aims to introduce a tiered tax system based on one's future earnings potential, as predicted by a newly appointed board of "certified futurists."

Under the TIFE Act, citizens will be taxed not only on their current income but also on the projected income they are expected to earn in alternate realities and dimensions, as determined by the futurists' highly sophisticated, and some say, questionable algorithms. Critics argue that this is akin to taxing a man for the wealth he might accumulate in a life he never lived.

"It's like being punished for a crime you haven't committed... in another universe," said renowned economist Dr. Janus Sidicus. "What's next? Taxing dreams? I suppose we should expect the futurists to start valuing our unborn children's college funds."

The proposal has sparked an uproar among the populace, with many taking to the streets in a frenzy of confusion and outrage. Protesters, dressed in dystopian attire, chanted slogans like "My future, my choice, not the government's tax hoice!" and "Don't tax my hypotheticals!"

The futurist board, composed of individuals with PhDs in "Dimensional Econometrics," defended their model, claiming it was the first step towards a "more equitable and forward-thinking tax system." They argue that by taxing potential income, the government can redistribute wealth in ways previously thought impossible, potentially funding the national space program with the profits from the untaxed dimension where humanity never left Earth.

Meanwhile, the impeached President has touted the plan as a cornerstone of his legacy, promising that it would lead to a "staggering increase in national revenue" and allow for the implementation of universal basic income, funded by the vast coffers of hypothetical wealth.

As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the line between reality and fiction has become as blurred as the tax code it seeks to revolutionize. Experts predict that if the TIFE Act were to pass, the IRS would need to hire a new division of "Speculative Tax Auditors" to track down every potential dollar owed.

In the end, only time—and perhaps a higher dimension—will tell if the TIFE Act will change the face of taxation forever or if it will be consigned to the annals of history as a fanciful footnote in the era of alternate financial realities.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.