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In a bizarre twist to the ongoing saga of America's economic woes, sources close to the United States Government have confirmed that the nation is on the brink of implementing a nationwide video game curfew. The initiative, which has been codenamed "Operation Game Over," is said to be a strategic move aimed at steering the country out of its economic tailspin.

The mastermind behind this bold plan is none other than President John "Joystick" Jovial, an impeached former game developer turned politician, who has reportedly been secretly playing a high-stakes game of economic chess. According to leaked documents, President Jovial believes that by limiting the hours citizens can engage with video games, the nation will see a surge in productivity and a significant decline in healthcare costs due to a drastic reduction in repetitive strain injuries and obesity-related illnesses.

The proposed curfew, which would go into effect at 9 AM and end at 5 PM daily, would reportedly allow citizens only four hours of gaming, during which time all non-essential gaming establishments, including homes equipped with gaming consoles, would be required to close. The move has sparked widespread outrage, with gamers across the nation taking to social media to express their indignation using hashtags like #GameOnFreedom and #CurfewNoMerit.

Economists, however, are divided on the potential impact of such a curfew. While some argue that it could lead to a surge in productivity and a renaissance of traditional American pastimes such as fishing, knitting, and porch-sitting, others predict a catastrophic downturn in the gaming industry, which has become a cornerstone of the American economy.

In a related development, rumors have surfaced that the President's plan is part of a larger scheme to shift the nation's focus away from the impeachment proceedings that have been hanging over his head like a pixelated cloud of doubt. Critics argue that the curfew is a blatant attempt to distract the public from the ongoing investigations into his alleged ties with foreign gaming conglomerates.

As the nation braces for what many are calling "the mother of all resets," the gaming community is gearing up for a fight that could very well determine the future of their beloved pastime. Meanwhile, the President's office remains tight-lipped, releasing only a cryptic statement that reads, "When you play the game of thrones, you win or you... press start."

In related news, stocks for board game manufacturers have soared, while the sales of physical books have reportedly hit an all-time high, as Americans prepare for a world without digital distractions. The President's initiative is expected to be officially unveiled during a prime-time address, where he is rumored to declare, "Let's put the 'play' in 'play the economy'!"

Stay tuned to this channel for further developments in this unfolding drama. Is this an April Fool's joke? Only time will tell.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.